sereneinthecity

Break in momentum :(

Had chicken and veggies for dinner. Got it from the hot food cart on the street.  I didn’t get any rice so I figure it cldnt be thy bad for me. And I only ate half of the carton. I did get the creamy white sauce tho.

So I won’t get to the gym in the next two days and I may not get to walk 40 blocks. Today I’m out of town visiting my BF. Tmrw I will be back home but the BF will be with me and I term funny leaving him to go to the gym when we rarely see each other as it is…maybe we will take a walk. Sigh. I had a good jog yesterday. Don’t want to lose this momentum.

Had SW cereal w fruit. Committibg to a healthy lunch. I don’t get to pig out just cuz I’m outta town. Day 30.

Looks like…

This will be a slow and painful weight loss. Oh well. I must remember all the cliches…slow and steady wins the race, etc. It just frustrating bc i’d like to he thin NOW. Or at least the weight I wad when I went on my first cruise in 09.

I see this blog is turning out to be solely a weight loss journal. It’s cool though, its a miracle I’ve managed to blog ok a consistent basis at all.

Last night I had rest of baked fish on toasted pita for dinner. So good! Had mayo (bad I know) w hotsauce and sprinkle of cheese. Again, not the best but I did not binge and I did not eat any junk and/or triggering foods.

This morning I had SW. I hate how soggy it gets blech. I wound up leaving 5-6 pieces behind bc they were just too soggy to eat. Had a bannana and raisins in my cereal as well.

For lunch went to bodega and had honey turkey on whole wheat w swiss cheese, mustard, onions and lettuce which was very good. For dinner I plan on getting a big salad.

Went to gym earlier today, 15 min jog and 15 min walk on treadmill. 15 min on stairmaster. It felt good. I’m not feeling as heavy these days.

Update

Day 18. I see i’m getting slack in my daily blogging . I feel like being accountable to this journal helps keep me on track.

Note – yesterday I did Zumba and ran for 15 min, walked for 15. Lunch was baked fish, lettuce, toasted pita. Some bites of whole wheat rigatoni pasta. Dinner was Starbucks roasted veggies on I believe Ciabatta bread.

TODAY:

1/4 bagel toasted w butter (I asked for whole wheat toast but somehow the store worker heard “bagel”. GRRRR.

Went to lunch w/Chaz. Had kale for 1st time, very good! And salas w octopus! potato and celery, yum.

Snack: bannana

Dinner: toasted pita w baked fish, some bites of whole wheat rigatoni pasta. Hm. gotta keep my eye on this.

Exercise: 1 hour on treadmill. Honestly dont know how long I jogged. Was on the phone most of the time arguing w my BF. SMDH. I did go past two miles though. Yay.

Day 15

Starting to feel discouraged. Felt so fat today and had a very difficult time on the treadmill today. Feel like I am not losing weight quick enough and my stomach looks bigger. Maybe too much milk in my coffee? Is it the swiss cheese slice I have everyday with my sandwich for lunch? I want to cry.

Whole wheat toast w butter
Apple
Sandwich
Almonds and raisins
Bannana
Pesto pasta salad from starbucks for dinner (hard to believe only 350 or 370 calories)
15 min PAINFUL jog on treadmill, 10 min walk, 20 min ok elliptical which was the one exercise I felt decent about tonight. Lord help me not to get too discouraged, help me not give up.

Fatigued. Day 14.

That’s pretty much it.

SW and fruit
Sandwich
Abt to eat salad with toppings (chicken, pasta, carrots, dried cranberries, croutons, shredded cheese for dinner.)

Walked 36 blocks. My walk home from the bus stop will put me at 39 blocks. Maybe when I get home I will run in place for a minute to put me at 40 LOL

Achy Breaky

Last night I was so uncomfortable. My thighs and calves were especially in pain. I guess it has been all the Zumba and treadmill fun. If I wasn’t on this challenege I would definitely take today off. But I’ve made a commitment to myself! 18 more days!!!!

Yesterday was day 12 and I ate well. SW with fruit for bkfast, sandwich for lunch, apple for snack, leftovers (pasta, fish, rice and eggplant) for dinner. Dinner is a tricky issue. I feel like I overeat dinner. Bkfast and lunch are great and pretty much regulate themselves in terms of portion sizes. I’m allowed approximately 1 cup of cereal, a whole bannana and a handful of raisins. For lunch I can only fit so much onto my pita bread! But for dinner – I can add this or that to my plate and I think most times I add too much. But i’m not gonna beat myself up about that right now, as long as I have healthy things to eat for dinner and I do not binge eat – I am still abiding by the guidelines of my challenge.

Yesterday I also went to the gym (no Zumba, tear). Did jogginig for 15, walking for 15, stairmaster for 15.

Starting to have food cravings. ESPECIALLY for ice cream. Damn Mr. Softee truck! And there are ice cream/frozen yogurt/gelato stores popping up EVERYWHERE!! So hard to resist! Lord please help me! One day at a time!! I am so forgetful about my past, so quick to forget the fact that two weeks ago I COULD NOT STOP eating after just one bite of something bad for me. Even if I eat frozen yogurt, which is relatively harmless, there’s a strong likelihood it will trigger my cravings for other junk food. I can’t afford to eat even a BITE of one of my trigger foods. Its just not worth it. It starts this whole cycle of overeating, bingeing, feeling crappy about myself and vowing to go on another diet. I don’t want to do this anymore. I keep coming back to this place of wanting to get healthy and lose weight. So I might as well just stay in this place of eating healthy and not eating junk foods. Will I NEVER have an ice cream cone again? Not necessarily. I may be able to have one in the future. But not today.

Mixed up

I tght tmrw was Friday. I also tght yesterday was the 4th.

tired. Just getting home.

Did Zumba and 30 min cardio on treadmill this morning. Bkfast was wholewheat toast. Lunch was turkey sandwich. Snacked on bAnnana, Apple, almonds, raisins. Dinner was at a restaurant, got chicken, rice and yummy grilled asparagus. Off to bed now. May have a cup of coffee to accompany me.

What a day

Wow. What a day. Talk about emotional rollercoaster.

So I planned on going to the gym early this morning (5am) so that I could go to an early morning mtg. However I stayed up past 12am last night talking to my BF so needless to say I did not awake and promptly went back to sleep after the alarm went off. I woke up after 6 and decided that I for still make it to my mtg and wld just have to exercise after work. So I made my mtg and went to work. Although I planned to eat bkfast once I got to work that didn’t happen. I just had an iced coffee  past ze and went back to w. French vanilla dreamer that was really too sweet. So that wasn’t the repeat start to ky morning.

So at work today this woman (not a co worker but someone who I see fairly regularly at my job) was woohoo rude to me. I cldnt believe it. Basically I wanted to ask her a question so I kept calling for her and she refused to look up. Mind you I was standing less than 2 ft away from her. So I gently tap her on her shoulder to get her attention (bc silly me, I was naive enough to think she just didn’t hear me) and she looks up and says @ok doing something” – and looks back down! WTF?? That was just so stank and unnecessary. I guess I also am irritated bc it was a black woman and for some strange reason I like to think that another black woman wldnt treat me like that. Especially in my profession when there are so few of us to begin with. We are supposed to be looking out for each other. This woman was significantly older than me too. You’d think she wld have some sense of wanting to be at the very least decent to a younger proffessional learning the ropes. But oh well, now I am not so naive and she won’t have to worry about me saying a WORD to her ever again. My co workers confirmed that this was a miserable woman and had been equally rude to them on the past – which made me feel better. But even if I know someone is an asshole – I don’t like being treated like poop! Without respect! I want everyone to like me, which I know is problematic.

So I had my lunch – the same sandwich I have been having for the past couple of days. I also are a bannana (that I usually wld have eaten at bkfast. But I noticed later on in the day, close to quittin’ time, that I was munching on my almonds and raisin snack with FERVOR and speed. I knew something was up. The only reason I stopped eating them was cuz I ran out of raisins (I cant eat almonds solo!). I also noticed during this time that I was NOT being productive and instead spying on my BF on the internet. Terrible I know. I just feel like a lot of his life is a mystery to me and although a lot of my questions abt him shld be answered shortly (I’m going to his hometown next week) I am angry and suspicious that it has taken over a year for me to meet this man’s family and friends. In any event I felt bad abt not getting my PILES of work done bc I was spying on someone who I’m supposed to trust – wish madn any event, I’m glad 5pm made me anxious and start to pop almonds and raisins like they were m&ms. 

Thank God for 5pm! I stopped spying and left for Zumba! It was super fun!!  Again!! It was just as great as it was on Sunday even though it was a totally different instructor with get different dance moves. I think this may be the beginning of a new addiction, although it wld be way healthier than my present addiction to my four favorite food groups – sugar, salt, fat and cheese (is that considered a fat??) Chaz I wish you liked Zumba!! It’s really a lot of fun.

After Zumba I walked over 40 blocks toward Grams. Got me a salad to eat at her house. I feel good today, its ending up a lot better than it started. Interesting that I feel hunger but know I won’t die from it if I don’t way right this second. I can wait untold I het upstairs. Just like when I get sleepy I don’t have to pass out like I have narcolepsy – when I’m hungry I don’t have to devour the first thing I see.in large quantities. I can wait until my planned mealtime and eat my planned food.

P.S. dear lord please help me resist the several (!) bags of hersheys kisses in Grams fridge. Amen.

Day 7

Shredded wheat w fruit, 320 cal pasta salad. Dinner was fish eggplant and whole wheat penne w pesto and olive oil. Went to Zumba (fun!) And walked 2 miles on treadmill.

Day 6

I WANT TO CRY. JUST WROTE THIS LONG ENTRY AND I WENT TO PUBLISH AND IT DISAPPEARED! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

No funny or insightful comments. Ugh. Life happens. Maybe I just needed to write that stuff out, doesn’t matter if no one else sees it.

Yesterday – walked 54 blocks. Ate my planned dinner. (Ate fruit cup of cantaloupe and melon for snack a couple of hours before dinner.)

Today – had shreedded wheat, raisins and bannana for breakfast. About to go to gym. Lunch will be a sandwich. Don’t know what dinner will be, have to think about that.